Today we are going to do things a little differently. I am handing over the mic to my loyal readers (yes, you) and opening it up for a Q&A session. That’s right, today we get to know me, Hamilton Barkley, a little better.
I had asked you all to submit questions which you wanted me to answer and here, on this post, here are the results!
No longer will I be a dark, handsome and mysterious fur-man but I will now instead be a dark, handsome, open book of a fur-man.
How old are you?
I am a year and 6 months. That’s 19.5 years old in human years, according to this Dog Age Calculator. My birthday is in April, don’t forget to send me all ze presents!
Where were you born?
I am originally from Raeford, North Carolina where I was born over at Herron’s Sandhill Scotties. Check me out with my bros and sisters at 3 weeks of age.
How much do you weigh?
14 pounds of solid muscle. Yes, I’m a little petite for my breed, some would even argue that I might have been the runt of the litter. I like to think that all fun things come in small packages.
What is your nose made out of? And how do you get it so shiny?
Well, my nose is made of sugar, spice and everything nice! And it’s always shiny because I live in Miami and it’s always SO humid outside that my nose fogs up. 🙂
Do you have any nicknames?
Oh, my! Too many to remember. Here are a few with some of the explanations as to why in the world…
Hamiltina Ballerina- my man-human, aka master, says I act like a ‘little girl’ sometimes, hence the girl nickname
Tina- short for Hamiltina
Hambone- Cus it sounds pawesome
The Bone- because it sounds even awesomer
Ham- Because the humans are lazy sometimes and one syllable is all they can get out
Jamon- Spanish word for ham
Jamoncito- Spanish word for little ham
Boobooshees- not sure why. It’s what I pick up from the human when she enters the apartment and gets really excited to see me.
All About Grooming & Personal Care
Do you brush your teeth?
Don’t tell my vet but no, I do not let the human brush my teefers. What’s the secret to my pearly whites, you ask? Bones. Lots of bones to chew on.
What is the secret to your luscious locks? How do you keep your beard so well groomed?
Well, I attribute my silky smooth and shiney fur to two things. 1 the oatmeal shampoo and conditioner the human uses on me during spa days. Really, I think the conditioner is key in making my knot-prone locks more manageable. The second thing I think does the trick is a bit of salmon oil in my food 1x a week.
Do you enjoy spa day?
ABSOLUTELY! Spa days are my favorite days! I actually beg the humans to let me in the bath when THEY are bathing (and sometimes even jump in the tub when they aren’t looking…they find out later when I leave little wet paw marks on the tile floor).
All About Dreams & Desires
How do you unwind after a long day?
Late at night, I like to do things that really relax me; that make me totally zen. I start my routine by grabbing my giant stuffed doggy and humping it. After about 5-to-10 minutes of hip thrusting, I proceed to suckling & kneading doggy with my paws.
Kneading? Yes, like to knead dough.
I use my paws to gently massage doggy in a slow and almost too-small-to-tell motion.When this is over, I drink some water and head over to my cave,, aka: under the humans bed.
Are you allowed on your humans bed?
I am not. Can you believe that? How rude! I haven’t quite gotten the courage to try to jump up while they are away either. I blame it on my little T-rex sized legs. However, one time, while the human was washing the sheets, she decided to put me on the bed to see my reaction. Here is my reaction to my first time on a bed.
If you could be any other animal for a day, what would you be?
I would love to be able to swim all the time. I LOVE swimming. I would have to say some sort of sea creature; a dolphin, a fish, a mur-man? Here is proof that I belong in the water.
Who is your hero?
That’s easy…Tramp from Lady and the Tramp. Not only was he super street smart and scrappy, but he was the ultimate fur-ladies man. I mean, he even ended up with classy Lady!
What are you going to ask Santa Paws for this Christmas?
Santa Paws needs to bring me a backyard. I live in an apartment with the humans and nothing brings me more joy than hanging out on the balcony, looking outside. I can only imagine what it would be like if the humans opened up a sliding glass door to a big backyard for me to run around in (and dig lots of holes!).
All About Favorites
What is your favorite toy?
Oh, that’s a hard one. I have SO many toys. Two baskets FULL of them. But if I had to narrow it down, I would say my favorite toy is not a toy at all. It’s the plastic water bottles the humans sometimes have at home…that, or stinky socks. It’s really a toss up between the two.
What s your favorite song in the Hamilton musical and what is your favorite type of music?
The whole Hamilton musical is pawsome but the song that really gets my head bobbing is The Room Where it Happens.
As for my favorite type of music? Anything that gets the human excited and acting all silly is my favorite. I love when she acts goofy and moves around in what she likes to call ‘dancing’. I get SUPER excited and start to jump up and down.
Your favorite treat?
Easiest question, ever. Cheese. Paws down, my favorite of all time.
Boxers or Briefs?
Neither. I like to go commando. Have to let the OO’s breathe.
Favorite brand of Scotch?
I am a D.O.Q,.. That stands for Dog of Quality. So when it comes time to bust out a cigar and enjoy the end of a day, I always choose a single malt scotch whiskey from the motherland. I always go for Glenlivet. Straight or on the rocks.
Bacon or Pizza. Which one if you had to pick only one?
Umm…Is this a trick question? Bacon Pizza, duh!
All About the Fur-Ladies
Do you believe in love at first site?
I believe in love! Love at first site, love at first booty smell, love at first taste. I am a lover. Just call me Don Juan de Hami.
Could you fall in love with a Westie?
Yes! And make some scottie/westie babies!! 🙂
Is there something else you would like to know about me? Leave a question below in the comments section 🙂